Saturday, April 27, 2013


Stripes and Blue Bishop wave to you in greetings as you approach the door to leave the library.  "Welcome to Dragonpalooza, everyone!  Here's your flyer and a complimentary bottle of lube," the tiger says with a happy smile.  He's got a hat with a plush wyvern on it.
"You'll be needing that," the blue dragon adds, adjusting his commemorative Dragonpalooza t-shirt (depicting a rather anatomically-suspect sexual scene between a person and a Yamato Dragon).
"Yes indeedy-doo.  The dragons out there have gotten really active and are up to a whole lot more kinky fun.  This guy's done gone crazy again and has added a lot more to all the dragons roaming around out there," Stripes adds, patting his friend on the back.
"Well, I'd already done the feral sea dragons, so they've only gotten some added polish and a touch-up to react if you've got multiple genitals.  It's the Yamato dragons and the wyverns that have gotten a complete overhaul, both males and females."
"That's right, you lucky dog - voracious male wyverns can now be encountered," the tiger tells you, the wyvern on his hat flopping around excitedly.  You notice that the wyvern on the hat is indeed both male and excited.
"And, if you get tough enough, at level 20, you'll stop just running from the wyverns and start fighting them.  You crazy, overconfident madman," Blue Bishop says while giving your shoulder a firm punch.
"We've also got some new feats associated with this release which will allow you to access even more, stranger and kinkier scenes.  The FSDs, the Yamatos and the wyverns all have new 'Touched by Madness' scenes you can get if you have that feat..."
"Which you can select as a fun feat after the 'Strange Serpent' event is resolved (regardless of outcome)..."
The tiger interrupts again, adding "That event's found in the sewers.  Or your can get it right away if you're playing in Forgotten/Hard mode."
"I was just going to say that," the dragon growls, swatting at the other fellow.  "The other one you get by being stuffed too often by the male Yamatos.  That's called 'Twi..'"
The feline swats back.  "You're forgetting that the rules for oversized balls have also been adjusted, taking player size and internal balls into account."
"I didn't forget.  You didn't give me a chance to get to that," the dragon says.
As the two continue arguing and things descend into a slap fight, you slip out the door.  You're unsure if you're quite ready to face what's out there, but that hasn't stopped you before.  You flip through the pamphlet you were given and, after reading some of it, double-check to make sure you've still got that lube.