A long time fan of the Flexible series showed up at my house, tall and in charge. They presented a hard drive and a windows CD(I already have a perfectly legal key, purchased the year prior). With some idle banter and hat tipping, they sped off into the night, leaving me with a 1 TB Western Digital.
I tried to save my install of windows, but that ultimately proved to be a huge time waster. When I finally gave up and reinstalled onto the new hard drive, everything was smooth and fast to recover. I'm just about finished setting up shop again, and the updates will continue!
A huge thanks to those who responded to the crisis! Let the games continue.